Jay-Z: The Blog Album

The Aussies have left the building.

I know I left it kind of on a sour note, but on a whole, they were really nice guests, despite not having laughed at my joke. A few hours before the Aussies left at 1:30 Wednesday night, the boys of 3260 found a little present left for us:That's the Australian flag we left them, with an 18 of Bud Light, along with a Foster's on each of the six stars, representing one of us who lives in the house. They even wrote each of our name's on the beers. Plus, on the Bud Light box, they wrote:

"G'day Americans,
Thanks heaps for having us all stay. Any time
you're in Oz and need a bed, give us a buzz.
We've had a blast. Lots of love,
Russ, Brad, Jarrod, & Ryan"

Pat was particularly touched:
So we said our goodbyes and we went our seperate ways. The house seems empty now, especially because everybody but me has a job and leaves for most of the day. I wish I was Australian. I don't know why.

Anyway, Pat had the day off Wendesday, and he was about 2,000 miles overdue for an oil change, so we had to take his car in. I followed him, assuming he knew where he was going. This was a poor decision. All I'll say is that we ended up driving on a sidewalk, and that is no lie.

Later, we went to the mall just to hang out for a while and kill some time. I bought a picture frame at Bed, Bath, & Beyond because, for a five minute window, I think I turned gay. It's been a day and the frame is still sitting on my floor. Why did I do that?

Pat and I were walking past one of those kiosks when a chesty young lady literally grabbed Pat by the arm and pulled him over. This kiosk was called "The Dead Sea Miracles" or something, and it was all skin products that apparently exfoliate, cleanse, and turn you invisible. Not really, but for the price they were asking, it should have made me look like Jude Law. She made us wash our hands with some crap, and was being very flirty, and touchey, and trying to seduce us. When it came to the point where we were supposed to purchase something, Pat explained that he has no money. Desperate for a sale she says, "How much money do you have? I'll help you out." Pat had $15 bucks on him. "That's it?!" she says. Apparently the product was around $40 dollars because it's from the "Dead Sea". My ass. Anyway, seeing that Pat was poor and therefore a lost cause, she made a quick transition to me: "How much money do you have?" I told her I have a lot of money in my wallet, but I have absolutely no intention of buying any of your products. I said this with the biggest asshole grin on my face. So then, naturally because she had a big chest, Pat rips off the sleeves of his shirt and starts with the "So, how'd you get into this business?" She wasn't having it.. She literally just shut up and shrugged and waited until we went away. It was awesome. Later I recalled that a few weeks earlier Jorge had been swindled into buying a couple expensive products of theirs. He hides it from Pat so he won't use it.

We went up to the food court and tried to see how many free samples we could get from the Asian places. We got a piece of teryaki chicken. I tried remarking loudly, "Wow, chicken and meatballs, that's an odd combonation, I wonder how the meatballs would taste." The Asians squinted at me suspiciously, which was basically them completely shutting their eyes.

Later, Pat and I joined our friend Sarah for dinner with some friends at a place called Ernie's. It's a cool little Mexican place. The only person we knew there was Sarah, but there were about seven other people there, all super-nice. It was a little awkward at first because Pat and I got there before Sara did and we had to introduce ourselves. The other people had been there a while and were a few drinks deep. When the waiter came to take mine and Pat's drink order, we both stuck with waters. Immediately they were all like "You guys aren't drinking?" We told them no. They asked why. Pat had a nice ice-breaker comment, with "I'm actually a recovering alcoholic." The chilling silence after that statement made me want to get up and run. All I said was, "Wow."

The night was pretty fun, though. A lot of people there worked in production, naturally. We talked about old school TV, mostly Family Matters, Full House, Saved By the Bell, Blossom, Clarissa Explains It All, and Step By Step. We also found out that at a karaoke bar about ten minutes away from 3260 called "Dimples", Mr. Belding sings on Thursday nights. Will I be making a trip in the near future? Yes.

So I had a long, lonely day yesterday, having no complete strangers in the house. I took the opportunity to apply for about a thousand more jobs. Today, Friday, is actually the day I'm supposed to be getting a call from Zucker Productions about that interview I had on Monday. It's already noon and no call, or e-mail. I'm really nervous about it because I want it so bad. Alright, all you blogsexuals, keep your fingers crossed for me!

The good thing about being alone yesterday was that I pumped out like thirty pages of mine and Jorge's screenplay that we haven't exactly been hard at work on. I'm really proud of what I did. I'm certain this will get somebody's attention in Hollywood once it's finished. Jorge came home around 10:30 last night and we worked until 3:00 in the morning. He's got the day off today, and coincidentally so do I, so we're gonna work on it big time. Plus Jorge suggested we have a joint effort in preparation of dinner tonight, which should be interesting. I'll leave you with some pictures.

From left to right: Ryan, Brad, Russ, Jarrod, Jaime Kennedy, The Rock, George Clooney.

Also, Wednesday afternoon Pat was sitting out front reading, when he caught a whiff of something that smelled like somebody had parked four port-o-potties up the street. Sure enough: